now i realise love has gone ,i dont believe anything ,including love ,human are selfish,men are more selfish .when i was with my female friends,i felt comfortable,we had lunch together,slept together,had shower together,went shopping together,girls always dont hurt each others.if i go out with guys ,i cant feel happy ,i dont know whether im lesbian.guys like to show girls their cocks,even let all world know i have big cock ,that's flimflam,,man is the animal that thinking thing by penis,from i started my universtily to now ,it's almost 1 year,i was changed by university life ,i never got true love ,guys always used me,im tired to look for bf,coz i have already paid my true heart,but i cant got anything.i want quiet life,if i cant find a bf in the future,i ll be a nun,i want to atone my crime

i dont have bf ,i dont have beautiful face ,i dont have a good shape,what i have ,only an empty soul,yes ,im a pitiful girl.i want to find a bf ,but none loves me ,i always believe sex cant solve anything,but all all guys want to do that .i live in a filthy society

i still wait the final result,i don't know what to do,about my life ,every day i eat food then go to bed or online,the life is not like what i want ,so i put up a last ditch struggle,i am waiting for my love, also my life.

last Monday i was ill .i thought i would die .i felt sick then i puked.i didn't know how long i could live in the world.so i bet myself on whether i could see the sun on tomorrow morning.the tear was full of my eyes then i was sleeping.on Tuesday,

fortunately, i regained consciousness,but i had a fever ,i thought it was still trouble.but after 1 day i felt better ,maybe i

can recover ,so i have hope about life......

i should say shopping is not easy.in fact i don't like shopping very much .i am a lazy girl,but i have to shopping every day.my friends often call me ''hi amanda shall we go shopping?"my answer is "yes'' actually i am the person who is unable to  refuse.sometimes i can't refuse any tempts.that is why i am often at a disadvantage.i have already been thrown into passivity.when i shopping i have to walk about every street every shop without end,so my leg is painful.when i saw my feet after shopping .they were almost red and swollen.it is like a bad dream,shopping is dull,maybe someday i can refuse the request which want to go shopping from my friends.

i usually meet some bad boys,including my classmates.they play in the world,everything for them is not important,especially girls.they often say i love you and so on,but in the bottom of their heart you become a thing.love is not promise.is a clothes in men's eyes.when men don't like the clothes,they will change another one .from the Bible we can see: love is patient,love is kind kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.but today everything is changed.

If you meet your love in your living time, no matter the age, no matter the appearance, no matter rich or not, treasure it, It really the most expensive gift from the God!

today i have already finished the college entrance exams,everything for me is new,i will have a new life,at least my mind is quiet than before.i have finished the stydies which had wound round me for 12 years,everything is past.leaving  me is only hope,then my failing spirits revived.

just woke up,i find there is not light in my life,i can't imagine tomorrow,for me tomorrow will be hopeless, the sky won't blue any more.when dim thing coming,i could escape the truth,but at present i have already stood the edge of a cliff,i have no choice,i have no way to escape,i regret what i have done in the past,but everything is late,hope everything will be end soon.

the exams are drawing near,my feeling is complex,i hope the exams come soon,cos i can't stand the pressure,but on the other hand,i hope the exams come late,cos a lot of knowledge i don't understand,i almost see the colour of death.it's dark.my emotional world is empty.sometimes i am eager to find true love,but now everything for me it is not important,because i have already smelled the taste of death......